This post is basically for anyone having a rough time, I’m going to give you some routines to get your mind in a great space – using examples from my own life in the last 2 months. I honestly believe that keeping positive through the shit times has helped me get to where I am today. So have a read and keep an open mind
I recently quit my job for the opportunity to go to London for 6 months. I was in a long-term relationship with a man I loved very much and thought I was going to marry and have kids with. He was happy with the fact that I was going to be coming home and supported my 6 months away… Little did I know that almost as soon as I left the country he had downloaded Tinder (which I found out after we broke up) and had started seeing my best-friends twin sister (who he wouldn’t have met without me, this was probably the hardest thing to get past). This brought on a whole lot of heartbreak for me and there have also been rumours going around back home about the reasons we broke up etc because no one has bothered to ask me personally what happened. On top of this there have been struggles with keeping up with study and bills while I am here… Changing from summer to winter was hard… and then I managed to land myself with a cough and a skin-condition that is going to take a while to get rid of.
I think one of the most important things is to let the bad wash over you, don’t let it touch you, whatever it is. If you ruminate on the bad, you will keep yourself in a negative head-space which limits your ability to learn and grow from the experiences you face daily. Make the positive thinking a daily thing (fit it into your routine, whatever suits you) and you’ll soon find you speak the positivity into being.
After the break-up, I met up with a new guy in Sydney intending to just be friends. Lloyd (yep, his real name-I tend not to use real names here but I feel like he deserves the credit) lives in Sydney and I found out that he was going to be traveling to London around the same time as I was. Let me just point out that Lloyd is one of the most attractive, caring, smart, fun and sweet guys I know and have had the chance to meet – I was blown away the first time I saw him. We hung out in Sydney a few times and I quickly developed feelings for him (don’t worry, I know my previous post tells you all to take it slow – and that is definitely the intention this time around for me too, we are apart for 6 months at least before seeing each other again!). Lloyd and I met up in London for a week and we flew to Berlin together for an amazing weekend before he left for Sydney again – all of this wouldn’t have happened if I had stayed where I was, if I hadn’t have kept my positivity hoping for a better day. No one knows what is going to happen between Lloyd and I, but I remain positive that we even had the chance to meet and be together (however short that time may have been).
I’m not even going to write much about the study and the bills – I quit study for the time being because I felt like it wasn’t the right time for me. The bills – they have been taken care of (did you know it is $120 a quarter to keep a nursing registration going?!)
The cough is all thanks to Lloyd and that will go away soon enough (see positive thinking right there, at least I got to see him! I don’t even care about the silly cough that came with him). This skin condition however is a massively big obstacle to overcome, it is on my lips, my eyes, my neck, my arms, my back, my neck… Even my nipples! Yes I am a nurse and yes I have seen a doctor. I think the part of this whole skin condition that has got me so down is that it is visible, I am a confident person but because of this I have taken a serious hit to my confidence levels. It was all due to a rapid change in season (going from 32 degrees Celsius a day to freezing and below) and having sensitive skin my immune system decided to have a massive flare! The only thing getting me through is the positive thoughts and not letting myself dwell on it. I still go out in daylight, I still let people see me, this skin condition does not define me and who actually cares if I am a little red and scaly at the moment, not me! (Haha, probably some Mums who might think I’m contagious though).
Through all of this heartbreak, illness and stress I have managed to (mostly) keep a positive thought-process going and I have made positive thinking techniques a part of every days routine. Seasons have definitely changed in my life and I know that if I had of remained unhappy (it would have been so easy to fall into a depressive state) about what happened back home I would most definitely not be where I am today. Positive thinking comes from a deep sense of self-worth and knowing that no matter what life gives you, you can handle it. You got this!
Here are a few of my favourite (and I think most effective) positive thinking tips:
-Direct your thinking, whenever a negative thought or attitude enters your mind, direct it to a happy place (you need to create this yourself). Change the way you think about these situations, if you think that you are not going to succeed then you wont! Think you will achieve and you’ll surprise yourself
-Self-affirmation, you need to practice this if you’re anything like me! Find time every day to tell yourself things that will increase your self-worth (like “you deserve happiness” or “you are great human being”). Believe these to be true, because they are!
-Forgive yourself and learn from your past, I write in My 5 Rules about these two tips. I find this was the biggest barrier to overcome when I began changing my mindset to become more positive. We all do shitty things, but we can all do better – its a matter of forgiving yourself and moving on!
Have a great week everyone, its going to be a good one! If you’d like more resources on positivity just message Motivation Station – Blog on Facebook